Living in New York City, you see a lot of beautiful people. In particular, a lot of beautiful women. Whereas the American Dream involves moving to America, working hard, and building a life, the New York Dream (for men) involves moving to New York, making bank, and landing a woman who is out of your league. This is not to say that women are only interested in money, because that is not true. But I think that New York is a tough place to have a high standard of living, on a relative scale, and women are attracted to the success that a man would need achieve to be able to live well in New York. I used to have a saying “only in New York is Woody Allen attractive” and while its overstating its point, its point is simple. Brains, sense of humor, and perhaps a little eccentricity can be enough to win over a New York City woman.
I recently heard a statistic about New York City dating. At age 21, a woman will have 8 times as many eligible men to choose from as a 21 year old male. However, by the time a man is 30 years old, there are 10 women for everyone 1 single man. Why is this? I’ll tell you.
It comes down to the fact that women prefer to date older and men prefer to date younger. A 30 year old man can likely date women from age 18 – 35 years old. But a 30 year old woman is likely to date men that are 28 – 45 years old. The thing is, there are plenty of single 18 – 35 year old women. But most 28 – 45 year old men (the good ones anyway) are taken. Women have a distinct disadvantage the older they get, whereas men have an advantage as they hit their early 30′s.
To my female readers, there is one major problem with dating a New York City man. Despite a fancy job, fancy apartment, and maybe a fancy car, New York City men are notorious for extending their adolescence as long as possible. If you are looking for a guy who wants to settle down, NYC is probably the worst place to look. I’ll tell you why, but shhhh…. its a secret.
First of all, think of who would move to New York. Men with dreams of Benjamins, fast cars, fast women, and weekends at the Hamptons. Do these people sound like they want to settle down? Why would they. But even once they are convinced to settle down, the discussion about having kids can easily be pushed aside by simply saying “we can’t afford it.” And to be honest, its probably true. That is, unless you are both willing to leave New York City. As I have written in past posts, leaving New York City can be difficult as the City may become a part of your identity.
In conclusion, we live in a society where men are often considered disposable and a good looking woman can be considered or treated like an object. Its sad but true. There is an imbalance of power on both sides that often gets exploited. And through all this haze, people do manage to find each other. I think its time we give a proper thank you to Jack and Jose.
Bright Lights, Big City.