Archive for October, 2010

Location, Location, Location. Commitment, Commitment, Commitment

Posted in Dating on October 20, 2010 by Bright Lights

If you ask 10 couples how they first decided to live together, they may give you 10 different answers.   I have often wondered if there might be some driver or drivers that are not considered.  Some couples are honest enough to say that money was a factor in deciding to live with one another.  To me, money is the worst of all reasons to make that commitment, but on the flip side it is certainly the most understandable.  Especially in New York, the economics of co-habitation can be extremely attractive.  The rent is too damn high.

As relationships grow stronger, couples tend to spend less and less time apart and spend more and more nights together.  The implication of that is that one person’s apartment might become more frequented that the other.  Often times, the apartment of choice is the one with the better location.

Nothing I have said so far is groundbreaking or surprising.  But the theory I am about to suggest is not for the faint of heart.  If the woman has the better location, than moving in together will probably take longer than if the man has the better location.  Men generally will go further out of their way for intimacy, and therefore will put up with a two residence situation for a long time.  However, women are more likely to get sick and tired of shlepping between two residences and tend to be more willing to reach that next level in a relationship.

Lets go through some examples to prove my theory.  Lets start out with a couple where the man lives in Manhattan, the woman lives in Queens, and they both work in Manhattan.  Given that one of them lives in Manhattan, that will most likely be the apartment of choice.  Why should they both be inconvenienced.  There are other factors such as apartment size and roommate situations, but lets leave those out of this discussion.  Our second example is a couple where the man and woman live in Brooklyn (5 blocks away from each other) and they both work in Manhattan.  In this example, to be fair, the couple would likely split time at each other’s apartments.  No one apartment will stand out as the obvious “winner” and therefore they may not spend as many nights together.  Instead, what will happen is a stalemate.  “You come over.”  “No, YOU come over.”  What may result is that this seemingly convenient situation can result in more nights spent apart.  Also, since time is being split more evenly amongst two apartments, there is less feeling of “this is our place.”  It is my contention that a big part of building the comfort that leads to cohabitation is for both parties to feel “at home.”

“But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door”

In conclusion, I think that men have a higher threshhold to inconvenience themselves if it keeps them from having to reach the next level of commitment before they are ready.  All you players out there should consider my findings. Next thing you know, you may be selling your apartment in Manhattan to live in an inferior location.  Your commute will increase, but so will the expiration date on your freedom.  Play on player.

Bright Lights, Big City.


Mismatch! What do you think?

Posted in Life's Ponderings on October 12, 2010 by Bright Lights

In a world of couple mismatches, the only question is how do we feel about it.  Give us your thoughts

You can use my coat pile

Posted in Dating on October 4, 2010 by Bright Lights

In the summer time, people tend to wear less clothing which provides a leg up to the hot bodied New Yorkers.  Some would say that the best summer outfit for males is to have muscles.  In addition, the sun sets very late in the summer so the unattractive don’t have dim lighting as their secret weapon unless they start their night post – 9pm.

But alas, the Fall has arrived and its time for the mediocre looking folks to re-stake their claim on New York nightlife.  Calling all male non-lookers… its go time!

The Wardrobe

So you forgot to go to the gym for the past 6 months.  Not a problem.  Just buy some sweaters and you will look bulky and muscular.  Close enough.

Pickup Lines

Its going to start to get cold out and people will start wearing jackets.  But most New Yorkers don’t like to pay to check their coat.  Instead, they find a clean spot (perhaps in a booth) and form a coat pile.  If you see a pretty lady holding her coat and trying to balance her drink while writing a text message, offer up your coat pile.  This act of chivalry will put you in her good graces and may be the “in” you need to start a conversation.

No Lunch Dates

Ok Mr. Mediocre, its time to take advantage of dim lighting.  So no lunch dates until after the 3rd date.  Otherwise, things can get awkward, as shown below:

Happy Hour Deals

All summer you were too unattractive to operate at the outdoor happy hours in direct sunlight.  But the season has changed and now you can work the scene (thanks to an early sunset) at discount prices.  “Pardon me Miss, can I buy you a $5 martini?”

Am I a loser because I don’t have a beach house?

Even if the answer is yes, you don’t have to worry about that for the next 9 months.  So enjoy it.  Everyone knows that New York empties out during the summer weekends.  But now that the sun-god worshiping hotties are done slumming it with Billy Joel and P-Diddy in the Hamptons, they are going to spend their weekends in New York City.  It may be harder to get a table at your favorite restaurant, but easier to get a date.  Play on player.


Whether you are a 5 or a 9.5 out of 10, the Fall is a great time to be out on the town in New York City.  The summer has a natural tendency to make us all a little bit shallow because our bodies are on display.  When we are afforded the chance to cover up, it provides an opportunity to put our personalities more on display.  Dust off your dark jeans and your J. Crew sweaters cause its hunting season.  And to all my readers, I will always make space for your jacket in the coat pile of my heart.

Bright Lights, Big City.

Advertising Week – Facebook Generationext Wrap Party

Posted in Events on October 1, 2010 by Bright Lights

While Advertising Week technically ends on Friday (October 1st), the social scene culminated on Thursday evening with Facebook’s Generationext Wrap Party.  While originally scheduled be held at the Wollman Rink in Central Park, the party was moved (due to weather) to the Roseland Ballroom.

The party started at 9pm and guests were greeted with the Facebook logo everywhere you looked.  Large flatscreen TV’s were showing Facebook trivia with questions such as “How many friends does the average user have?” or “How many hours a week does the average user stay on Facebook?”

Around 10pm, Cirque du Soleil put on a short but amazing performance.  The performers were clearly limited due to a lack of space as compared to the Wollman Rink.

After the performance, the crowd hit the dance floor as Kanye West’s ‘Good Life” invigorated the good looking advertising elite.  From the tasty appetizers to the Facebook cookies, the event was well run and some good clean fun.  It was a tremendous way to close out a week of thoroughly enjoyable panels and events.

Advertising Week (Sept 27th – Oct 1st)

Posted in Events on October 1, 2010 by Bright Lights

It’s that time of year when 60,000 Mad Men and Mad Women gather in New York City for Advertising Week.   In its seventh year, the events, speakers, and parties have been top notch.  Sponsorship and product placement abound, I had the opportunity to attend several panels and events throughout the week.

AOL Buzz Bar

Mapquest Station

Special thanks to the public relations firm Sunshine, Sachs & Associates for all of their assistance and coordination throughout the week.

Billboard presents: Under the Hood of “Unstaged”   (9/27)

This was a panel discussion led by Bill Werde who is the Editorial Director of Billboard Magazine.  John Legend, ?uestlove of The Roots, and Spike Lee were in attendance.  American Express has sponsored a new concert series called Unstaged where concerts are live-streamed and directed by notable directors who bring their cinematic skills to the equation.

John Legend, ?uestlove, and Spike Lee

John Legend & The Roots participated in the most recent Unstaged performance (directed by Spike Lee) on September 23rd and they had an candid discussion about the direction of the music industry, their new Album Wake Up!, and why Unstaged offers a unique perspective to experience a concert.  For those that don’t know, Wake Up! features eleven evocative songs (pulled from the soulful music of the 60’s and 70’s) touching on subjects like political empowerment and civil rights.  John Legend mentioned how refreshing it was to make an album that was all about the music and said that it was refreshing to not have to ask the question “am I singing too soulfully for mainstream radio?”  When asked about popular radio music today ?uestlove added that “if you try to enlighten (the public), you are basically just turning them off.”

Advertising Week Opening Gala   (9/27)

The world of advertising is no stranger to the open bar.  As expected, the Opening Gala was nothing short of spectacular.  The party was held at the Minskoff Theatre which has amazing views overlooking Times Square.  Further, there were plenty of interesting specialty drinks like the Red Devil with a glowing ice cube.

Overlooking Times Square

AOL - Red Devil

Billboard Amp’d Up!   (9/27)

Following the Opening Gala, the Ad crowd loosened their ties and let down their hair for an amazing night of music, and of course more open bar.  The Harlem Gospel Choir got the night started by getting the crowd to stomp their feet and feel the love.  Bruno Mars was the next to perform and he gave an inspiring performance of his hits like “Just the Way You Are,” “Billionaire,” and “Somewhere in Brooklyn.”

Bruno Mars

The headlining act was (of course) John Legend & The Roots.  One highlight of their performance was an epic guitar solo by Kirk Douglas of The Roots.  Susan Sarandon was in attendance and it was rumored that Jay Z and Spike Lee were there as well.

John Legend

John Legend & The Roots

After the show, I caught up with Kirk Douglas to compliment him on his amazing performance.  We spoke briefly and I can honestly say that he is one of the nicest people you will ever meet.  One overzealous fan interrupted our conversation yelling out “my uterus has your name on it” and “I want to have your babies.”  If I had a nickel for every time someone yelled that out to me, I wouldn’t have any nickels.

Times Talks:  Oliver Stone interviewed by New York Times columnist David Carr (9/29)

Oliver Stone is a man who has an opinion.  That is exactly why this interview was such a treat.  He spoke about Wall Street 2, his view of George W, and touched on where the U.S. economy is heading.  One audience member asked if he felt any sense of responsibility for making greed “sexy” in the original Wall Street movie (1987) with statements like “Greed is good. Greed is right.  Green works.”  Oliver Stone responded by saying that he did not feel any sense of responsibility because Gordon Gekko goes to jail at the end of the movie.

Oliver Stone and David Carr

When discussing the de-regulation of the banks he remarked how Reagan repealed the Glass-Steagall Act, Clinton went along with it, and George Bush Jr. had no interest in actually running the country.  Never a dull moment with Olly.

AT&T Connects – Networking Event   (9/30)

AT&T and the Advertising Club hosted a nightly networking event all week long.  I attended the Thursday night party at the Aspen Social Club in midtown Manhattan.  The event was a fabulous opportunity for Ad Week attendees to share stories and get to know each other.  What better way to get to know your colleagues than with a beer in hand?  For the many thousands of attendees who flew in just for Advertising Week, this was a great way for them to make connections.  Who knows, maybe even a few love connections.

Aspen Social Club

Aspen Social Club