You can use my coat pile

In the summer time, people tend to wear less clothing which provides a leg up to the hot bodied New Yorkers.  Some would say that the best summer outfit for males is to have muscles.  In addition, the sun sets very late in the summer so the unattractive don’t have dim lighting as their secret weapon unless they start their night post – 9pm.

But alas, the Fall has arrived and its time for the mediocre looking folks to re-stake their claim on New York nightlife.  Calling all male non-lookers… its go time!

The Wardrobe

So you forgot to go to the gym for the past 6 months.  Not a problem.  Just buy some sweaters and you will look bulky and muscular.  Close enough.

Pickup Lines

Its going to start to get cold out and people will start wearing jackets.  But most New Yorkers don’t like to pay to check their coat.  Instead, they find a clean spot (perhaps in a booth) and form a coat pile.  If you see a pretty lady holding her coat and trying to balance her drink while writing a text message, offer up your coat pile.  This act of chivalry will put you in her good graces and may be the “in” you need to start a conversation.

No Lunch Dates

Ok Mr. Mediocre, its time to take advantage of dim lighting.  So no lunch dates until after the 3rd date.  Otherwise, things can get awkward, as shown below:

Happy Hour Deals

All summer you were too unattractive to operate at the outdoor happy hours in direct sunlight.  But the season has changed and now you can work the scene (thanks to an early sunset) at discount prices.  “Pardon me Miss, can I buy you a $5 martini?”

Am I a loser because I don’t have a beach house?

Even if the answer is yes, you don’t have to worry about that for the next 9 months.  So enjoy it.  Everyone knows that New York empties out during the summer weekends.  But now that the sun-god worshiping hotties are done slumming it with Billy Joel and P-Diddy in the Hamptons, they are going to spend their weekends in New York City.  It may be harder to get a table at your favorite restaurant, but easier to get a date.  Play on player.


Whether you are a 5 or a 9.5 out of 10, the Fall is a great time to be out on the town in New York City.  The summer has a natural tendency to make us all a little bit shallow because our bodies are on display.  When we are afforded the chance to cover up, it provides an opportunity to put our personalities more on display.  Dust off your dark jeans and your J. Crew sweaters cause its hunting season.  And to all my readers, I will always make space for your jacket in the coat pile of my heart.

Bright Lights, Big City.


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