Archive for April, 2011

Maybe We Just Need Tails

Posted in Life's Ponderings on April 19, 2011 by Bright Lights

“Man is the only animal that blushes.  Or needs to”

– Mark Twain

Air, water and food are the metabolic requirements for humans.  Shelter and clothing provide protection from the elements and are strongly desired, but not required for humans to live.  As much as we don’t want to admit it, we are animals.  Sure, we may have split the atom and found a way to put a man on the moon, but we are still just animals.  In fact, there are many humans who have been born with a tail.  Humans have a “tail bone” (the coccyx) attached to the pelvis, in the same place which other mammals have tails.

Sometimes, a child is born with a “soft tail”, which contains no vertebrae, but only blood vessels, muscles, and nerves.  People, especially New Yorkers, like to believe that they are a cut above the rest and that “their” way of life is the best.  But if we slow down to analyze what we really need as animals, not just as the persona that is ‘I,’ then we may see a different side of ourselves and the people around us.

I have written in past posts that people generally tend to not go after exactly what they want for fear of failure.  Instead, they settle for something less, but generally which is also less of a hassle to attain.  How many of us wanted to be professional athletes but realized it was a long shot, so we played in High School or College but then never took the time to hone our skills to the professional level?

How many of us would like to write a book someday but have yet to even write ten pages of that book?  For some, the path of least resistance is to not try at all, and its certainly understandable.  Do we owe more to the part of ourselves that is purely animal?  What would happen if we acknowledged that our needs go beyond generally accepted protocols of interaction?  Would we be happier or less happy?

One thing is for sure.  We don’t really consider ourselves animals anymore.  We take pride in the many ways that we differ from the animals around us.  Whether it being delaying gratification through monogamy or by establishing a 401K, we take pride in all the ways that we are sophisticated, while repressing our animal instincts.

I fully understand all of the reasons that we, as a society and a species, would do such a thing.  The animal kingdom, while filled with honesty of character, is not what you would call democratic and protective of individual rights.  I’m sure a gazelle is not all that surprised when a lion tries to kill it, and a lion never pretends to be anything other than a lion.  It is a killer and unapologetic about it.  In our society, we don’t just say “Tommy is a killer.  Thats just how Tommy is.”  If Tommy started killing our citizens and eating them, we would lock Tommy up.

In conclusion, I think we live in a society where we repress our animal instincts and then like to act surprised when they come out.  I believe there is potential for us to lead happier lives if we own up to the fact that we are in deed animals.  Make no mistake, the answer is not to act with the same reckless abandon as your dog Fido.  The answer is to understand that you and Fido have a lot more in common than you think.   If you give Fido a doggie treat, he will eat it.  If you give him two, he’ll eat two.  So why should you be surprised when you have a hard time eating just one Thin Mint cookie when you have an entire box at your disposal.  You are just an animal and you are flawed.  Period.

Maybe if we had tails, we would better understand ourselves and the people around us.   Maybe we could truly accept each other as our true selves, not just the persona that is ‘I.’

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

– Mark Twain

Bright Lights, Big City.


You Can Find Me in the Club, Bottle Full of Bub

Posted in Life's Ponderings on April 5, 2011 by Bright Lights

For anyone who has ever gone out to a club in the Meatpacking district, one thing is clear.  The line to get in is filled with a predominantly good looking crowd, especially the ladies.  The women seem to have all gotten the same memo and are wearing some derivation of a tight little black dress, though it may be in a different color (you know…to show off their creativity).  As a guy, it can be very difficult to get into these clubs, especially if you are sans women.  But if you are a woman, you can likely get in even if you aren’t much of a looker.

Guy at Tenjune

So it struck me as interesting that there weren’t too many non-lookers ladies on the line.  Is is because non-looker ladies don’t want to feel out matched?  Typically, the ratio of non-looker men is quite high comparatively.  What are the causes that lead to this difference among the sexes.  Lets examine.


Lets start with the men since they are much easier to figure out.  Beautiful women are a draw to men, so men go where the beautiful women are.   Yes, it really is that simple.  And considering what these ladies are wearing, window shopping is enough entertainment for most men even if their chances for romantic interaction are lessened.

Boom Boom Room - Standard Hotel

The Meatpacking District is dominated by bottle service, which means that it takes some serious coin party there regularly.  Most of the men are hoping to attract women just by showing up at these clubs.  Buying a bottle at a club is the bar equivalent of wearing a sign around your neck that says “I have money.”  Or at least, that would be the idea.  I ain’t saying that the women who attend these clubs are gold diggers, but they ain’t messin with (you know the rest).


I believe that most women require three criteria for where they are willing to spend their free time.  Comfort, Friends and Fun or C.F.F.


Comfort:  Women typically like to feel pretty, especially when they are all dressed up.  So it makes sense that the non-lookers would not want to feel like the ugliest duckling in the room.  The lookers have the confidence to feel comfortable around other lookers.

Gansevoort Hotel - Meatpacking District

Friends:  I’m sure we have all noticed how good looking people tend to have good looking friends.  And middle of the road looking people tend to have middle of the road looking friends.  So on and so forth.  With that in mind, these lookers go out in the Meatpacking district with their friends, and low and behold they are good looking as well.

Fun:  Girls just wanna have fun.  In truth, everyone does.  There was a recent study done by the University of Texas that concluded that beautiful people are happier than the plain Jane or even the ugly Joe.  Below is a testimonial from one of the readers of the study named Fermina:

“‘I’d agree with this. I’m a fairly attractive, feminine woman who helps herself out (figure flattering clothes, nice makeup, etc). I’m not a perfect 10 by any means, but I’ve also moved in circles in school/work that aren’t full of supermodels, and I’d say I’m usually one of the more attractive people in those groups.

I’m not hot enough to get by without work, but I do think the combination of being somewhat attractive with an outgoing personality has supplemented my accomplishments. I have a pretty good job for my field, considering that I’m under 25 and just starting grad school, I don’t have a problem finding attractive and interesting dates/hook ups, and I’m pretty happy with the little niche I’ve carved out for myself.”

As expressed by this testimonial, good looks can impact most areas of life including career.  I believe that it can generally be said that good looking people will generally have greater success, and generally more disposable income, and generally less worries.  Hence, they are more likely to go out partying in general.  Since the  Meatpacking District is on the higher end of the range, it makes sense that better looking people would party there, in particular, better looking women.

Dinner at Buddakan

Should we be surprised that Fermina admits that she hangs out in crowds where she is one of the better looking people?  Not really, because she is staying true to the C.F.F. formula.  It just so happens that the Meatpacking District women likely have a comfort level with people in their own looks bracket.  Perhaps that comfort level stems from the confidence boost of rolling into the club along side other lookers.

Club Griffin - Meatpacking District

In conclusion, there are many forces at play to explain the Meatpacking District phenomenon.  Some of these factors are ingrained in what makes us human beings.  We long to fit in, we long to feel safe, and we long to enjoy ourselves during our free time.  Most of us are not all that surprised that non-good looking people are not hanging out in the Meatpacking District.  Afterall, non-good looking people probably don’t go out as much in general.   But next time your ugly friend declines and invite to Tenjune, you can look them in the eye and say “I understand, it just ain’t in your C.F.F.”

Bright Lights, Big City.