Over the years, I have written many articles on dating in “these” complicated times. It is true that internet dating has changed the disease, but the symptoms remain the same. As such, I thought I would share a few points that men have not shared with women. This is primarily because men wouldn’t recognize these as facts but rather subliminal impulses weighing in on the all important question “should I talk to that girl or not?” It is important to note that these points will only be helpful for women looking to find a man of substance and not just someone looking to get a piece.
Sunglasses: Women love their sunglasses. But sunglasses hide a woman’s eyes making it harder for men to make eye contact and gain confidence to approach or maintain conversation. I’m not saying don’t wear your designer sunglasses, but when you find yourself under the shade of the pool bar, you may want to take them off and see who comes to talk to you. Lets be honest, the hunkety hunk with washboard abs, no shirt, and a degree from Devry is gonna come up to you no matter what in that bikini you “gotz” on. But the quiet guy sitting at the bar talking with his friend about the old times in law school may now feel the confidence to approach you as well. He has his shirt on and can’t compete in a purely shallow muscle and body competition. Don’t make him feel he has to in order to talk to you. Take those glasses off and let him see your soul.
Separate from the Herd: Woman often go out in groups of 3, 4, or 5. These are not girls night out but rather a night out with friends. They stand around and despite being dressed to the nines, they get very few suitors. The reason, of course, is that men hunt similarly to a lion. Men are waiting for the woman he is pursuing to be alone, if only for a minute. So he must wait till she goes up to the bar or is waiting on line for the bathroom. Both of these are proven methods. But wouldn’t it be easier (and more sanitary) if women would just recognize that men do this and be sure to spend about 3 – 5 minutes either alone or in smaller groups for a few minutes every hour. Ironically, while in college I met two woman who did just that. I would go to a party with the two of them, and they would demand about 10 minutes every hour where I had to be away from them, and they had to be away from each other. Some call that desperate. I call that efficient.
“I like your hat”: If you believe that more men would talk to you if they had a good opening line, then becoming a hat lover and hat wearer might be for you. Show me a girl with a cute fedora, and you can bet that several men will come up to her and say “I like your hat” throughout the evening. Any line that men can use instead of “you are really pretty” or “do you come here often” is very much appreciated by the male community.
These signals may not be true for every man, and most men probably haven’t given it much thought. But now you know a little bit more about the man behind the curtain.
Bright Lights, Big City.